I have a son who will be 5 this December. There is no justice in courts anymore. And when I look back now being 12 years older, I've forgiven myself for this bipolar disorder. Why is the system so dam hard on good men who take care of their responsibilities? Methods: We studied mental health outcomes of a cohort of women whose first child was born in Manitoba, Canada between 1 April 1997 and 31 March 2015. Losing a child. I cannot say "hang in there, it gets better" because I don't know that. I do hope after some time I will be reunited and be able to be a part of his life. This story really hit home. She's like a baby between 7 months to 1 year all over again. Of all the questions left unknown, When her father was arrested and convicted as a paedophile she blamed me. thank you. I know I'm not the only one out there, but I can only speak for myself. Legal Reasons for Losing Child Custody. It was only about 2 years ago that this anointed person was sleeping with her pastor, and the pastor's wife came home and caught her in her home. I too have a difficult case. Share Your Story Here. I don't have the money to go there and even if I did, he would not allow it. Haven't slept or eaten in days, I've read several poems, listened to several songs, trying to figure out how I feel about my situation, this made me cry, which is not easily done. 16. I did not see her for another 10 years by which time she was in an abusive relationship. Despite having a divorce settlement with joint custody and specific visitation rights,my ex wife left like a thief in the night with my two year old daughter, to a town more than a thousand km. Back in 2006, my kids were removed from my home. I thank you for sharing. Anyway, the fake court gave my mother real power. I lost my two children nine years ago. He has full custody but I feel as though the courts failed me many times. One bad move could be grounds for a parent completely losing custody over the child, especially if other people have witnessed the punishment. As soon as I left the house everything was turned against me. It's so hard to remain strong when i don't know how my little angel is doing. I'm a nurse and have always provided for my son, he is my everything. It felt like I'd lost everything I had. Believe me, I tried everything. He's been like this for 3 years now. I will never ever be able to get over my little boy who was 4 and my baby girl who was 10 months old being taken away. They experience anticipatory grief. Their mother had an older daughter, Sarah, but I raised her as if she were mine. This poem has touched my heart. Why can't we be together? I'm staying in tonight to change more diapers. So hard. I'm a good person, and I don't deserve this. Newsletter Sign Up. I wrote music to this poem and it was heard in the court of law. Since I was 12, I knew what I wanted in a spouse: fidelity, no addictions and for him to be responsible. Its been 2 years. It is like losing your future, says Wayne Loder, whose only two children died in a car accident 14 years ago last Sunday. I know what you’re going through. Garrett W. Wheeler. This poem is what my heart yearns to say, not as a parent but as a caregiver. I crocheted a blanket for each of the kids. For no reason, no reason at all. Now I am painted as a criminal. I would've done anything! Months would go by I was only to blame. This is like the story of Joseph in the Bible. Within these two types, each may be either sole or joint. She refuses visitations. I've decided to write prayer journals for each of my children. God choose to remove a three year old child from this world and give us an angel without fear and pain. I've always been a great father to my children and always looked forward to the day to see them graduate from college and to one day walk them down the aisle when they get married just like any other father. It expresses exactly how I feel everyday. I grew up feeling unloved and suffered from depression. Up to 15% of these women will develop a more severe and longer-lasting depression, called postpartum depression, after delivery. It does NOT get easier with time. I think of them every single day!! You are not alone. It's hard out there and you're not alone. My dad moved away when I was 8 and I almost got taken away with him and I had to stand up to him and tell him what was on my mind and I said "This is your fault not mine not my mom's it's yours" and I am 12 now living with me mom. Were you touched by this poem? My older son was devastated when we were torn apart. We're in ICU for more than a month and almost lost her a couple of times cause she just stopped breathing. It may be hard right now but one day it'll be worth it. And even in the times of feeling downer than down, what saved our relationship was simply being around. I only get her every weekend. The support group was part of a larger organization solely dedicated to providing support for those who have lost children, grandchildren, or siblings. Mental illness and child custody cases are a fairly common part of the divorce process for many couples. My two daughters are married. I can't see my child grow. wrong! These strategies exist to aid you in dealing with a loss of child custody both personally and legally 1. I have three (3) daughters and one (1) son. My stepdad told the cops my fiancé's daughter's father was dealing drugs, but he was never doing that. I didn't ask that he cheat on me, he got to keep our home and now he gets to keep our daughter. Jessica L. Schickel, Daddy Walked Out By I didn't realize what I was getting myself into! I would spend my day caring for her. My only son, their only brother. But that wasn’t an option. I read a lot of stories on this site, and my thoughts and prayers are with you all! Children are being handed over to these men while the moms life falls apart. Although it's some time ago I still feel the pain every day this poem could apply to lost children as in court cases and lost children in death they each carry so much pain thank you Chris, I know exactly how you feel, I have lost custody of my daughters and it hurts everyday =(. I filed a contempt and ended up cutting her a deal anything to stop the alienation and get on with life. I am sad and always hoping one day my prayers will be answered, if not, I truly tried to make things right. This poem is what my heart yearns to say, not as a parent but as a caregiver. I calculated he robbed me of at least 40 thousand hours of time I could have spent with her until she was seventeen had I had her or if she had a two parent family. I've read all the books and studied the articles. See more ideas about quotes, grief quotes, losing a child. New research explores the impact of losing a parent before the age of eighteen, and what it can mean for one's ability to form adult relationships later on. It hurts so much not knowing what I did wrong. Postpartum depression is common. she was twenty and William was two. Thank you I could not put my feelings in words but needed to read it to understand it. I love them more than my own life and I will always BE RIGHT HERE. I thought this poem was touching..I'm going through some custody battles right now with my daughters dad. I can't control her or make her trust me.. but I'm here. Since then, she has been telling them I am a bad man and trying to convince them they don't need me and her boyfriend would make a better dad. I'm in an even darker place than I was before losing my children to lies that my ex-husband and his wife came up with while brainwashing my oldest daughter (9 years old) and coaching her to say awful things about me so that their lies are more believable. Each birthday, Christmas, Easter, Valentines, or just because, I buy a little something that reminds me of the kids & I put it in their trunk. And it's hard. Coping with the grief and loss of a child. She's been in a coma for a week. When a marriage breaks down, child custody is a topic of great concern—especially for people struggling with mental illness. Our last court date we had to sign all our rights over to my fiance's mother. I've had a few visitations since December last year but they moved a couple of months ago and I miss them so much. It is killing me inside. So hard. I miss and love and need my children, so tremendously bad, I have a hard time coping. In the beginning I thought that he wanted to spent time with his friends and he needed his space, but his change was for good. Losing Custody Of Child Poem, My Lost Love, My Lost Child. My girl and boy were given to my abusive and drunk ex-husband in court. It got originally dismissed by the same court for being unfounded. She was everything to me. I cannot do anything more than cry and sleep. It was a sweet reunion. I woke up at 4:00 am today and found this place. I've seen a ton of kids go through... © The custody of children in the UK concerns itself with parental disputes and is used to decide which parent will be mainly responsible for a child or children after a divorce or separation. I'm engaged to be married and I can truly say that this man is the second most amazing thing that ever happened to me. As I said before It's something that I started and never finished. My deepest thoughts and prayers are with you. There were so many reasons why it was not practical or reasonable to have a child, so on a rational level there was often an understanding and acceptance. Please accept our most profound sympathies. When a child is left in the middle of a couple's breakup, it can lead to bitter custody battles and tons of drama. I watch old videos I have of him. They are my middle children. Every visit they don't want to go back. What has been taken or lost will never be able to be returned. I lost my oldest son to an unexplained death a year and a half ago. Common Mistakes: the word "i" should be capitalized, "u" is not a word, and "im" is spelled "I'm" or "I am". My heart goes out to all those men who suffer this same despair and longing as I do. People who have lost a child have stronger grief reactions. He's a great dad. Touched my heart and mind. They live in Brazil, I live in South Africa. I punished myself because I couldn't give them what him and his new wife could. I understand your absolute grief. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, A weekly guide to improving all of the relationships in your life, Subscribe to HuffPost’s relationships email. The shock and heartbreak of not being able to be with my little angel on our special days is unbearable. It is all so ridiculous. Hi. Less than a part time mother. Your daughter was a true ray of sunshine, and we lost her too soon. I am only alive by the grace of God. All rights reserved. I couldn’t bear the thought of what that would do to my babies. This is the most touching of all poems I have been reading. She is two years old. I am living the same situation. If we boiled it all down to one basic rule: show that you’re a good parent. It's like he was brain washed. Best Interest of the Child. Recently, you may have read news stories about more and more spouses citing an ex’s depression in child custody cases. Regardless of how who what why or when, if you have the time you must give it to them. Hi, my name is Neil. They were taken because I was broken, fragile, intimidated, had no money, no support and he had really good support from our corrupted law in our city. I know your pain all too well. I am still hurting and cry when I'm alone. She's even said to me in front of them, "You're not a mother anymore." We were thrown together when she was very small by parents doing drugs, fighting around her, and going to jail. I don't know if I did the right thing by separating, and I wish I could be with him. My son is currently spending a lot of time with his father's new girlfriend who used to do drugs and was even in jail. All before that time I was always the main care giver. I pray every night for a miracle. CPS said they had to investigate. I have not seen my son in several years now. As you know, the pain is immense. There's not a single day that I don't wonder what he is doing today. I pray for them. I lost both of my daughters about a year and a half ago. I come from a Great oriented Family. Colorado uses the best interests of the child when deciding custody. For nothing in this world can replace a child you've had to lose This poem has been the second hardest thing that I have ever done The first will always be when I lost my daughter and my son I didn't send this to you to make you sad. BW. Cannot bear to lose her. Perhaps that is one of the reasons. I want to help others with the same pain, but if I hurt still so much how do I try to tell someone else to stay positive? 18. I would give up my life for her. To the extent you’re able, show that the other parent isn’t fit by comparison. Hi, my name is Lisa. And it's hard. She is my daughter. Despite spending thousands on legal defense and hours with lawyers and in court appearances it seems like she will get away with separating me from my daughter. Unfortunately, she is not biologically or legally my child. That is a serious violation and if, it continues, that should lead to a mother losing custody of a child. After I filed for divorce they cut me off. 17. She is my child. I went to court, but they denied my request to set up visits. I feel useless and hopeless during that time. Not even the schools. There isn't enough room however for me to tell my story. Creative outlets can help you make sense of your feelings. Child Custody During And After Inpatient Drug And Alcohol Treatment. I waited 18 years before I found them again. This poem made me shed a tear; not a day goes by without me missing my bright and beautiful children. I think about them still to this day. I came back to my country because my status doesn't allow me to be there anymore, and I saw a good opportunity with my brothers to succeed with them here. I lost my daughter when she was 2 and a half months old, she was sick, I saw her dying and witness her last breath. Although each case is different, some general strategies exist that may help you better cope with losing custody of your children, according to "Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce" by Emily Doskow 3. God choose to remove a three year old child from this world and give us an angel without fear and pain. The possibility of losing custody of a child can be a distressing experience for individuals in need of inpatient drug and alcohol treatment. I have a son, and he turned 2. Not to be a part of the kids life everyday. Mental illness doesn’t automatically disqualify a parent from getting custody.It will, however, likely influence the decision. While his mother was pregnant, we separated due to some serious issues. I was too afraid. Parental Rights. When a marriage breaks down, child custody is a topic of great concern—especially for people struggling with mental illness. I believe it will keep us connected and allow for a very sweet reunification one day. Your family lost a child and there are no reasonable words of comfort to make it all okay. I don't usually comment on anything, but I can relate to your story so much! And another 7 percent of teen mothers in foster care lost custody of their children between their first and second birthdays. If it is your own child engaging in this hurtful behavior, you may wonder where your own parenting went wrong and might even feel like a failure. His dad remarried, and he has a sister. It's difficult to accept the idea that the court believes your children would be better off with someone else, whether that's your ex, your parents, or in the foster care system. This is the worst week of my life, except when her mother passed away, 10 years ago. It’s helped me to live with my pain, to carry it because it will never leave me. I didn't do anything to have him taken like this. One day I will be reunited with him and our patchwork family will be reunited. I'm hoping I can just see them even if on the weekends. Find him and you will find peace. My sister took our 3-year-old daughter and 4-and-a-half-year-old son through lies and assumptions. My eldest is 16 now. Some day they will stop being prisoners in their own home. I know exactly how you feel this pain seems to never go away. and always in my dreams. I lost my son 17 years ago on Mother's Day to his father. She treats me like I'm nothing. Adam T. Cumberbatch, Divorce Through The Eyes Of A 6 Year Old Boy, Empty Spaces By I know God sees us through our trials, and sometimes we never know why. I thank God that I found and married my husband. away. :( good luck to you though. Meanwhile, I'm here always crying. I was forced to lie to protect the last thread within. And the things that hold true, are all lies. I had this happen to me also. I will tell you this, I don't think it ever gets any easier. I ended it, but I miss my son a lot. Losing a child is the hardest thing a couple can go through. Fact checked by Andrea Rice She says she has been anointed by God. Remember, you are your children’s mother or father and your spouse’s allegations should not be enough to … the biggest one is why. I know how you feel. I haven't seen them since 2009. Part of HuffPost News. I never hit her back, but she made up a story and got me arrested by the police. It breaks my heart trying to provide opportunities for her and teaching her commitment when he won’t follow through. Here's a look at approaches that, over time, could help you heal. Conversely, if the parents do not see the body of the deceased of if the child disappears, as in child abduction, they are likely to stay in a state of denial and disbelief for a longer period of time. My father has most of the custody over me and my siblings. Mind you, I live in Iola, KS, not many job opportunities. Show that you’re mentally, physically, and economically fit to take care of the child. Twice her mother took her and ran, making her miss her kindergarten class and special events she had been looking forward to. They often have more anger, guilt, physical symptoms, greater depression, and a loss of meaning and purpose in life. I decided that night that I could not stay with her. I signed rights away for all 3 of my babies, in order for my case to close. Separation anxiety was new to me. If custody has not been determined previously, the court will determine what custody and parenting time arrangement is in the best interests of the child. I hope they come and find me or I can find them one day. It feels like it's killing me. For years cps has done nothing. This article is not conclusive and only gives some of the effects known to effect family members when getting divorced and seeking child custody. I ended it due to my ex always blackmailing me with suicide and lies. I did a stupid thing by not complying with the judges order to give my daughter back when I was suppose to to her dad. I love you my sweet boy!! One lives with me and the other one talks to me daily. When a child's mother is mentally ill, it is natural to explore a father's child custody rights with the mental illness in mind. 3 Ways to Cope With Joint Custody and Missing Your Child. It's a living death to be without your own child. However, I do believe that one day I will be able to give them the journals I am creating for them and they will know my heart and reflect on their years and be able to connect the heartfelt prayers to the fact that I was always there in the only way I could be and never stopped caring. For almost 3 years I jumped through hoops. To lose the opportunity of being a good dad. Why would my depression affect child custody under Texas law? Poems for the Loss of a Child or Baby Memorial Funeral Poems for a miscarriage, infant, baby or child loss – A parent’s prayer. I know he misses me and this describes what he must be thinking. It's been many years for me and yet here I am 1am... sad. She will no longer speak to me. I have had my child the past two and a half years. She may learn! she then turned me away. Justice system, fighting for custody, addiction, mental abuse, depression, suicide, single mom, unemployed. Mike Qyinn, Honey, You Can Have Him! I have no words of comfort to parents who are going through this tormenting hell. She was admitted to hospital when she fell into a coma, x-rays determined that she had a crack in her skull, bleeding and swelling to the brain. The first seven years was perfect and meant to be. It's been so long! I lost my baby daughter recently. It's going to work out ok ,so keep your chin up. He left my home to live with his father and didn't speak to me for 10 years. Who do Satanists cry out to when they need help? To lose the opportunity of being a good dad. I took her back again the judge gave her a bandaid order.....she continues to deny visitations. The system is institutionally biased towards fathers. So invest your time, be present and persistent; My promise to you: It's a solid investment. Did you feel raindrops on your face I feel your pain. I honestly don't know how I get up every day. If it negatively … One in 1,000 women develop the more serious condition called postpartum psychosis. The book helped me to deal with the undeserving, the pain, the anger and the immense sadness. Karista and Kylee mommy and daddy love and miss ya'll so much. It meant so much to me. I read a book called A Grace Disguised that has taken a lot of weight off my shoulders. I was dealing with postpartum depression and having outbursts like screaming at the top of my lungs. We live in the same town. She was born with spina bifida and fetal alcohol syndrome. Why can't I watch you grow? In 2010 my husband of 5 months beat my 3 year old son. ... Like the fact that she suffered from postpartum depression after her first child ... New moms worry postpartum depression could mean losing their children. How is that fair? They took our daughter. I cry every night. I got into trouble with law enforcement due to possession of cannabis. Thanks for this poem, took the words right out of my heart <3. I lost my 3 daughters over 4 years now. The poems can be used in the memorial program, for readings, or on thank you cards. However, I received custody of the children in the family court. I am fighting her through the courts in a long drawn out process. I don't know what to do anymore. I was a teacher and I worked in the inner city. After a child’s death, most parents feel as if a part of their life has been erased, this is a very frightening feeling. After that she spent more than a month in rehab where she learned to do everything all over again. 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