At this point, a conversation is inevitable. And, once that happens, they may be able to work through the issues and frustrations that cause them to consider running away. For example, “because I said so” might be enough explanation for a young child but adolescents often need more – they need reasons. They just don’t know how. In the states where I’ve lived, if your child runs away and you call the police, by law they can’t do anything. Why they run. They just have made a bad decision. If you feel the time is right, you could try putting your feelings down in a note/letter and giving it to him. Call back often to see if there are any updates. Search your teen's room for clues and check your teen's cell phone bill for any calls made recently. Discuss what returning home might be like before they come back so that neither of you have any false expectations. You should also speak to an attorney about your legal rights and responsibilities. If you are the parent or guardian of a child who has run away, you should contact the local police. Explain why being a runaway teen is risky, and educate them about the dangers of it. Home violence or fights between the parents can also become a big problem in teens’ lives. If you are always at work or distracted, try to make your teenager feel like more of a priority in your life. Before you jump to the conclusion that they are just a bad kid, or lecture them or grow angry, determine what really pushed them in this direction. If you suspect your teen as a drug or alcohol problem that is causing them to leave home, help them try to get clean. Many times teens will reach out to this service for help or guidance. Your support helps wikiHow to create more in-depth illustrated articles and videos and to share our trusted brand of instructional content with millions of people all over the world. Sometimes running away has to do with something the teen has gotten into like drug use or hanging out with the wrong crowd. Suggesting a telephone meeting or exchanging e-mails could encourage him or her to keep in contact. Email – When you email NRS’s Crisis Services team, you can expect a response as soon as possible. They are looking for a way to run, to hide or to start over because something is pushing them to do that. http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/better-communication-with-teens, https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/How-to-Communicate-with-a-Teenager.aspx, http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/teen-depression-signs-help.htm, http://www.pollyklaas.org/enews-archive/2013-enews/article-web-pages/the-truth-about-runaways.html?referrer=https://www.google.com/, http://www.1800runaway.org/parents-guardians/, http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/teenage-bullying.html, Please consider supporting our work with a contribution to wikiHow. Contact their circles of friends and family. Why do runaway teenagers run? My friend wants to runaway and I don't know how to help or if I should tell an adult. Take them out to lunch or dinner. It's important that you take a break from each other. This is a way that teenagers become in contact with people who might be a bad influence to them. What Happens If I Runaway At 17. Life on the Streets Most runaways return home within 48 hours to a week and will typically stay with friends, according to the National Runaway Switchboard. Reinforce the idea that no matter what choices they make, you are there to help them correct their mistakes. Despite doing all the right things, sometimes kids still run away. Having a runaway teenager is a terrifying situation, but try to stay calm so you can contact the right people to help bring your teen home. ", have a better relationship with them now.". You could also call a crisis line staffed by professionals trained in dealing with teenage runaways. Your only goal is to try to understand where your teen is coming from. Even more shocking is the fact that almost all teens have thought about running away at least once. Know what your teen is doing on the Internet, and on social media sites. If you are thinking about running away, you can get help, and you can learn more about life as a runaway. Provide clearly explained boundaries. Due to home violence or arguments, teenagers may feel depressed and abandoned. If you want to learn measures you can take to make it less likely for your teenager to run away, keep reading! Last Updated: March 29, 2019 Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Try not to get defensive, to make excuses, or to justify your actions. Praise and reward positive behaviors. What do I do? What should I do to get her to come home? Perhaps if they know this, running away will not seem like an attractive option. Make clear why this is not something that is okay and that you do not approve of it. Ask him what he wants. A teen runaway is a call for help. What to do when your child comes back from running away? It means sitting down with them and listening to their thoughts and their frustrations and offering solutions. This kind of helpless feeling may force them to go away from home and also can encourage them to become an alcohol or substance abuser. Teens could also be dealing with problems at school. You do not have to be a "bad parent" to face a runaway teen. By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. Meanwhile, bank records might indicate any recent withdrawals or purchases, which can also serve as clues. You don’t need to wait 24 hours to file a missing person report for a child under eighteen. Make sure that you understand the situation clearly before deciding whether to administer loving discipline and how to do if it is needed. You will have to set your funds to zero and slowly start saving money. Then listen to what your teen has to say. They are looking for a way to run, to hide or to start over because something is pushing them to do that. Do it right away. Just let him know that you are always there for him if he needs you. Most instances of teenagers running away are in response to a specific problem or stressor that teens feel they can solve by leaving home (e.g. If they ask that you lighten up on a few rules, respond that you will think about it and let them know. Yet, what you need to be is an open parent who will welcome your teen runaway back into your home and work on repairing problems so that they will stay at home with you. Do your research, and see a professional right away. In their minds, it is the ultimate way to demand autonomy. Please consider making a contribution to wikiHow today. Every dollar contributed enables us to keep providing high-quality how-to help to people like you. They will not actively look for anyone over 13 and if she is reported as a runaway anyone who helps her (a friend, a shelter, etc.) Amazingly, there’s no statute that requires kids to live in a safe place. You do not have to be a bad parent to face a runaway teen. Whatever you tell us at Runaway Helpline we’ll listen and offer support. Help your teenager develop problem-solving skills. Action 7 News reporter Regina Ruiz talks with police about what parents can do to keep children safe. But with the arrival of COVID-19, the stakes are higher than ever. The first is as a courtesy for your family. Whatever the problem is, screaming or jumping to punishment will probably just make it worse. Seek help from a therapist or religious leader too. They may just use such threats as a way to get out of following the rules. Call Child Protective Services. Could they get in trouble with the law? Runaway teens also have complex reasons for running, and they may or may not be the parents’ fault. She's also a psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the Mentally Strong People podcast. You can tell him he can trust you, and then you can tell him one of your secrets so that he knows that you trust him. The reasons that runaway teenagers leave home vary. Establish an immediate open dialogue with your teen instead of just punishing them. What's more, almost every teen has met or knows someone that has run away. They just don't all follow through with it. They aren't bad kids. Live Chat – Our live chat service is a quick and easy way to connect with a compassionate person who will answer your questions and provide help. Teenagers don't runaway for attention but to escape the realities of a world they are afraid of or exhausted from living in. Now he's 18 and we don't know what to do. He might have run away because he wants something or feels something is missing from his life. Asking a non-immediate family member who is close to your child may also be more successful making contact. Was it planned or impulsive? It is a situation in which even the most diligent parents can find themselves: a teen girl running away from home.   Before College Drop-Off, 6 Ways Parents Can Help Their Teens Deal With Mood Swings, The Biggest Risk Factors That Contribute to Teen Pregnancy, Dealing With a Defiant Teen Who Runs Away, 7 Ways to Deal With Disrespectful Back Talk From Your Teen. order to be better acclimated when you actually do runaway, you should practice dumpster diving at your local supermarket and try sleeping out in the woods for a few nights. You need to know who their friends are and actually meet them. Part of the obstacle that parents face is a lack of community support. Lay specific ground rules for your teen while letting him or her know that the only appropriate solution is to come to you rather than running away. We've been helping billions of people around the world continue to learn, adapt, grow, and thrive for over a decade. "That a parent should make their child first priority if they're always working was helpful. There is very little you can do to secure the return of your 17 year old that runs away voluntarily. This becomes a challenge because running away is often glamorized by others. This article has been viewed 93,052 times. You could try phrasing it another way by asking "What is going on?" If it's for a relatively mild reason and they're likely to patch things up pretty quickly, invite them to stay on your couch for a day or two but make sure they know it's temporary. If you want to learn measures you can take to make it less likely for your teenager to run away, keep reading! The police may only bring back home the runaway if the runaway child is in some sort of danger. To create this article, 18 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. If you notice any of these signs, take steps to reach out to your teen, and consider family counseling. Perhaps you get the child involved in a youth support group or in religious activities or in a sport that will give them more of a focus or direction. Need more help? Ask how they are doing. This will likely only get worse as he becomes an adult, so be proactive about seeking help for him now. Sometimes abusers seek to isolate a person from their family. According to the National Runaway Switchboard and the Center for Adolescent Recovery and Education, more than 1.5 million teens run away from home each year 1 3. It’s possible there is something about your parenting style that the child is rebelling against. Of course, you're not absolutely required to do anything, it's all up to your discretion. The Truth About Runaway Teens : Report Missing Child. It would be best to just be honest with your friend so they can make a decision for themselves about whether or not to let you stay with them. Get the name and badge number of the officer you speak with. Teenagers grow and they want to explore. Not judge or tell you what to do. I might, "This article help me to know I am not alone. Basic teenage development All teens go through a stage where they define themselves as unique, and start demanding two things: 1. freedom; 2. a say in their life. Don't feel guilty. If your child is a teen runaway, or you think they might become one, there is a problem. If he left not too long ago, maybe he just needs space for now. It’s your call. Support your friend, show him/her that you won't let go and eventually tell him/her to talk to his/her parents. Why did they think this was the only way to be happy? As much as you would like to build a wall around them, it is their choice whether or not to walk out the door. Acknowledge and validate any hurt or anger they may be feeling, but encourage them to cope with it in healthier, more productive ways. To create this article, 18 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. I talked to her and she wouldn't listen to me so I had to talk to my parents. If they are being bullied for a specific reason (their glasses, the way they do their hair), help them improve their hygiene or look if they want while making it clear to them that bullying is never acceptable. It's not productive. Don't wait 24 hours. Instead of facing their problems and solving them, they chose to run from them. Lecture is only going to breed resentment. As soon as you suspect your teen has run away, call emergency services. He is a teenager. Make sure you take time to tell them how you felt about them leaving. If this happens in your home, call the police immediately. Maybe it’s time to relax a rule or two now that they are 15 not 8. We help them work through their problems, make safe choices and find positive alternatives to running away. 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